lasertooth

Dream Up. Dream Up. Let me fill your cup...with the promise of a man.

2007-02-19T04:48:54Z

FUCK HERMAN MELVILLE.

Talk about poetry!

2006-04-17T01:12:18Z

I won 3rd in that poetry thing.
50 fuckin dollars baby!
Thank you to everybody. You all advised me to submit the 1st one. You were all right.
It was really funny. On thursday, all of us who won read our poems at this thing. And the guy who won 2nd read right before me. He had written this million page poem.
It was funny because it was like we had both written poems about the same misunderstood girl. Except, he was writing this epic love song to her, that was actually quite eloquent. But then I got up on stage and just destroyed his whole self-indulgent nobody-understands-me vibe.
Cause I'm fuckin cool.
I kind of wonder if the people in charge did that on purpose.

Anyway, it occured to me that I could have won 1st place if I had instead submitted this note, which has been hanging on Nate's fridge for the last couple weeks.
(Me and Nate are roomies now.)

Shadrak left this on the fridge after having slept over here for a few days:

NATE,
    THE KICKS ARE DOPER THAN A 7 POUND KEG OF HEROIN !! EXCLAMATION POINTS TO INFITIY
   (A depiction of said exclamations points drawn as arrows pointing to an infiinity symbol)

HOPE I DIDN'T CLOG YOUR DRAIN WITH MY MANFUR

WITH A MARKED DEGREE OF SINCERITY,
      SHORTS WEATHER ZEALOT- in-TRAINING
      COUNT SHADRAK ESQUIRE III
                                                      MIMIC W/ A GIMMICK
                                                      BLACK SHEEP W/ A SHEPHERD'S CROOK

(A depiction of a dancing star with a top hat and sneakers.)

XOXOEN AND THE WATER BUFFALO BILL CODY LAMBERT LIVES IN A VANS AREN'T NEARLY SO COOL AS CHUCK TAYLORS SHOULD BE SEAMSTERS IF TAYLORETTES ARE ARE SEAMSTRESSES.

THERE'S THE $20 I owe you. ITS IN YOUR FREEZER,
CHILLIN.

Talk about some Goddamn Poetry! He's livin it!

2 poems

2006-03-31T01:49:59Z

I wrote these for my class. I'm gonna submit a poem to some contest on monday. So tell me which one you think is better. if you feel so inclined.

Her poem

It’s so easy to be misunderstood.
Like some hateful architect, constructing
Bridges that don’t go anywhere

Forging monstrous towering office buildings
With crooked labyrinth hallways and flaming
Hula-hoop doors. The workers e-mail
Each other relentlessly, trying
To find the logic in all of this, wanting
Desperately to believe that it’s anything
Besides an elaborate ploy to piss them off.

The experimental designer pounds
His tiny fists
Against the graph paper.
Like a high school band director
Furious at the percussion section that
Didn’t even look at his notes

She handed me her poem.
This misanthropic blueprint
I sat here in the back of my brothers minivan, wriggling
My eyebrows at it, wondering
How long should I pretend
To be reading it. Or
Should I just crumple it up now
And throw it to the floor
Grab her by the shoulders and shake
Her back and forth, yelling
I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

Dog Bites and Alcohol
(Assuming Everything Goes According to Plan)

When I’m an old man, I’m gonna live
In a mansion, like the one I’m living in now.
I’m gonna buy like six German Shepherds
Become an alcoholic and
Just pick fights with them
All the livelong day.

Local children will dare each other to
Break into my house
They’ll be chased off by the dogs
Like so many ex-wives

One day I’ll take it too far
With one of the Germans.
The other five will come to my aid
But it will be to late

Days later they’ll find me
Dead in the billiard room
Of a lethal combination of dog bites, and alcohol
Poisoning, and heart attacks
However the obituary will only say heart attacks

Percocet 2

2005-12-26T20:59:24Z

For christmas morning my mom got me stronger drugs. Yeah, its true. My old pills were 325mg. these babies are 650! It was kind of a coincidence to, because I had just gotten HER some bigger crack rocks for christmas.

i told that joke to my dad when he called in from Zambia christmas day. I heard my sister laughing in the background , but my dad was just like "That's good, you know, you gotta take care of your mom."
Yes I do.

But seriously folks, I'm starting to get sick of all of these narcotics. It was fun for a couple days but I wanna get off this ride now. It's like when you were fourteen and your parents caught you smoking a cigarette and they made you smoke the whole pack. And then they made you do two hits of sunshine LSD, and then they sold your comic books to buy stronger crack, and you had to go live with your gramma for a couple weeks, and you started to fall behind in school cause you stayed up all night crying, and your dads like,
"Yeah, but are you addicted to cigarettes? No."

Other x-mas highlights:
My Mom and my sister jeana went to church, me and Brother dave stayed home and watched Ninja Turtles 3. not a great film. true. But have you ever watched it when you were TOTALLY MEST UP ON DRUGS? Well, my freind you simply haven't seen Ninja Turtles 3.

Other Movies that may or may not have been enhanced by my current state of mind:
Cinderella Man
March of Penguins
Bananas
+ my brother got me the special addition of Monty Python and the Holy grail! I haven't watched it yet, but oh boy!

we also got my mom the Life Aquatic. we have this tradition of buying her Bill Murray movies. cause she has recurring romantic dreams about the beloved actor.

Happy Holidays!

Percocet

2005-12-23T02:25:13Z

*Post-tonsilectomy, The hangyball in the back of my throat is touching my tongue so if I talk too long it feels like I might throw up. So this seems to be the perfect opportunity to start expressing myself via live journal.
*I've noticed that when I'm on percocet I behave the same way i would anyway, except that I am equipped with a much better explanation for being lazy and absent minded. Kind of like those loud obnoxious d-bags that just get drunk so they can feel less responsible for their own obnoxiousness and dueschbaggery. (This is also me.)
*My dad's visiting my big sister this christmas. She's in Zambia saving aids babies and stuff. I miss them both but I can't help but sigh in relief. Because I have two less presents to worry about. But the truth is, even if they were here they wouldn't care if i didn't get them any thing. My whole family is very chill. Its like we're all on percocet.